A day like a week like a month like a year

It took us a week to fall in love with each other. Two weeks to get together. On the weekend of the third week we were sitting on the carpet in Ys apartment, holding hands and laughing without end, both unable to believe that it had been only a week since we got together. It could have been two weeks, it could have been a month. Maybe even a year. We had completely lost the feeling for time. After having known me for four weeks, Y proposed to me. And I, surprised about myself, answered with a non-hesitating yes.

Y was surprised too. Surprised about me, not asking him for more time. Surprised about himself, asking a girl to marry him after knowing her for roughly a month. Y had asked me before to teach him how to say “Would you like to marry me” in German, so his question was not completely coming out of the blue, but I still hadn’t expected him to ask me that soon. When he asked me how to say this sentence in German, I was nervous just at the thought of it. But when we walked down a crowded road in Nanning and he asked me the very same question in Chinese, it came so naturally, yet unexpected, that I wasn’t nervous at all.

When I imagined him asking me if I wanted to marry him, I didn’t know what I would reply. So at that very moment when we walked down a road in a city we had just arrived in two hours earlier, I was surprised about myself, hearing the words “yes, I do” come out of my mouth.

Since it was unexpected for Y too, he hadn’t prepared a ring. I suggested he should make one himself. His first attempt of making a ring for me wasn’t very successful. So after we bought fruits to celebrate our engagement, we looked for a Café to sit down. We found a hostel and while waiting for our coffee in the common area, he made me a ring with a heart on it out of a 10 Yuan bill.

He promised me to buy me a real ring in Hongkong, but for the time being I was more than happy with my 10 Yuan engagement ring.

Do you have a similar story to share? I’d love to read your comments.

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23 thoughts on “A day like a week like a month like a year

  1. OMG, congrats!!! i am shocked as well.. man, this is so fast.. how did it just happen lol?! anyway, happy for you guys, you guys will do great!


    • Thanks! I would have never thought myself that I would agree to marrying someone that fast. I was never someone who thought about marriage too much actually. For me, marriage was something that would probably happen in the far future (or might not happen as well), not in the near future. But it just felt right, so I said yes. Most of my friends’ first reaction was: “Are you pregnant?” 😉


  2. Gratuliere!!! Für viele Kulturen bedeutet die Ehe noch sehr viel, nicht so wie im westlichen Kulturkreis. Ich hab damals auch sehr viele negative Reaktionen zu spüren bekommen, kann dir aber sagen, dass ich im Nachhinein nichts bereut habe! Und wenn eine Beziehung die richtig ist und man es weiß, dann ist es egal, ob man verheiratet ist oder nicht, beiden haben sowieso das gleiche Ziel und das ist das Wichtigste!


    • Danke für deinen Kommentar. Bisher habe ich zum Glück noch nicht so viele negative Reaktionen zu spüren bekommen, die Leute, die uns nahestehen freuen sich zum Glück mit uns. Welcher Art waren die negativen Kommentare, die du dir anhören musstest? Waren das negative Kommentare in Bezug auf die Hochzeit?


      • Liebe Ruth,
        Gott sei Dank ist in vielen Kulturen eine Heirat noch erstrebenswert, bei uns wars in etwa so: Meine Mutter war entsetzt, seine Mutter konnte sich vor lauter Freude nicht mehr einkriegen 😉
        Und dann kamen halt die üblichen ausländerfeindlichen Kommentare von wegen: “Der will dich ja nur heiraten, damit er in Österreich bleiben kann, oder will doch nur an dein Geld (da ich ja dank Studium sooo viele Erspranisse hatte)” 😀
        Also ich wünsch euch auf jeden Fall nur das Beste, eine Beziehung zwischen zwei unterschiedlichen Kulturen ist zwar nicht immer leicht, aber das machts ja gerade so interessant!


        • Wow, da habt ihr euch ja einiges anhören müssen. Bisher ist uns das wie gesagt zum Glück erspart geblieben, gerade wenn solche Kommentare von Familie oder “Freunden” kommen, ist das doch sehr verletzend – oder kamen die Kommentare eher von Leuten, die euch nicht so gut kennen? Ja, wenn Leute aus zwei unterschiedlichen Kulturen zusammen sind, sind gewisse Konflikte wohl nicht vermeidbar, aber wenn die Kommunikation funktioniert, dann kann man daraus auch viel lernen. Und es ist ja nicht gesagt, dass Paare mit ähnlicher oder aus derselben Kultur keine Kommunikationsprobleme haben ;-).

          Danke, ich wünsch auch euch alles Gute!


  3. Wow!!! Herzlichen Glückwunsch! Ich freu mich sehr für dich, liebste EX-Mitbewohnerin. Ich hoffe, wir sehen uns irgendwann mal in China wieder. Alles alles Gute für euch 🙂


    • Danke, danke! Ein Wiedersehen in China würde mich auf alle Fälle freuen. Sag Bescheid, solltest du dich wieder mal in chinesische Gefilde begeben. Shenzhen ist ja nicht weit von Hongkong und über Hongkong geht ein Flug nach China ja schnell mal ;-).


  4. Congratulations! I only began following your blog recently, and wow, how exciting! My husband and I also got engaged quite quickly, although I was a bit hesitant at first (only because I knew my family would be furious). I do think that sometimes you just know, no matter how short the time. Good luck to you both!


    • Thanks! I totally agree, if I wasn’t sure I would have been more hesitant I guess. I didn’t know how my family would react, especially since we got engaged so fast. Luckily they were all positively surprised. Family support is important, so it’s totally understandable if you hesitated because you knew that their reaction might not be that positive at all.


  5. Congratulation on your engagement.

    Concerning reactions, my wife’s mother is Austrian. Her first reaction on hearing that she was dating me was complete silence. Unfortunately, the habit didn’t last.


  6. Congrats! So happy for you both!
    I actually just broke up with my Chinese boy after 5 months, he had talked about marriage from almost the moment we started dating and I even met his mother, but something just didn’t feel right, so if he had asked i probably would have hesitated. I still care about him and don’t regret anything, just hope we’ll stay friends. He’s a great guy, but despite what he thinks he’s just not ready for a serious commitment, hopefully he will be in the future.
    Your blog gives me hope the ‘my guy’ is out there, somewhere, hopefully in China, and one day we’ll meet when the time is right for both of us.


    • Thanks for sharing your story!
      It seems to be pretty common to talk about marriage right after getting together for many people here in China, but I think in some cases it just means to show that the guy is serious about the relationship (or he’d like to know if you are if he asks you) and not necessarily that they plan to marry right away.
      I think you made the right decision with the break-up – it definitely has to feel right and I’m pretty sure that ‘your guy’ will eventually be led your way (or you his). Good things often happen when you least expect them, wishing you all the best!


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