One day in December 2013 I’m at work. One of my female coworker points at my belly and asks:
“How many months are you pregnant?”
I: “2.”
She (seemingly shocked): “How come your belly is already that big with only 2 months?”
I: “That’s because it’s afternoon and I ate a lot today.”
On a side note: It seems that in the first few months of pregnancy people either thought that my belly was already quite big or that I didn’t show at all concerning what kind of clothes I was wearing. If I was wearing tighter clothes, they’d say it was big, if I was wearing looser clothes, they’d comment that I didn’t show at all.
Have you ever had a similar experience? I’d love to hear your stories.
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Asian women in general have small bumps when pregnant, they just aren’t used to other women being bigger with all respects.
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I think it’s rather the fact that I didn’t wear loose clothes all the time. I’ve seen many women here who are in the same month of pregnancy as I am in now with bumps much bigger than mine (even my husband said that my bump is small compared to most other women after going to the hospital for a check-up).
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So in China, people prefer you to cover up your baby bump?
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I don’t think they mind me showing my bump (at least I hope they don’t, because I’m going to show it anyways), but many pregnant women here do wear clothes that are a bit looser once they are pregnant (often dresses or blouses). Looser clothes seem to be common maternity wear here, but I think many women also just don’t want to show that they are gaining weight.
You couldn’t call what I had at 2 months bump, it really wasn’t that big, I’d call it bloated stomach instead :-).
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I disagree about Asian women having smaller bumps. Since their bodies are often rather petite, I think they often look quite huge towards the end of pregnancy. I see plenty of Chinese women around who look uncomfortably pregnant.
On the other hand, I have a larger frame and have been commented on by Chinese acquaintances and even scolded by my Chinese doctor for not putting on enough weight. I have put on plenty, though it may not show as obviously. Anyways, as a pregnant woman, you really can’t win!
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it always amazes me how direct some people can be. I can understand if your husband’s family asked that, they are family, but a co-worker? being pregnant there seems to be scary 😀 I would feel awful if someone told me that 😀
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Maybe that’s another reason why people don’t wear tight clothes once they are pregnant – because everyone will comment on your belly, weight, etc. But now that I do have a bump, some of the girls are also really cute with it (putting their hands on my bump and talking to the baby).
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People do it even when you aren’t pregnant! I have often had Chinese people comment on my weight, although it’s not as common as it used to be when I came here 9 years ago. You have to learn not to take it personally (I’m still learning!). It doesn’t hold the same meaning as it would in most Western countries. People aren’t trying to criticize, but sometimes to show concern other times to make small talk.
It happens with things other than weight, too. My friend suffers from rather serious acne and people are often trying to give her advice. . . even strangers.
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Haha, Chinese can be so harsh sometimes can’t they
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I don’t take those comments personal, I just see it as a way of communicating. I’ve had different people tell me on the same day that my belly is big and that it’s really small, so I think it’s really not about the message itself but rather about doing some small talk and communication per se.
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Well sometimes I’ve had people asking me if I was pregnant… obviously I was not… but they HAD to ask about my belly 😀
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How interesting. By the way, congrats!
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Thanks!
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