“After we’re married, I still want to see her as my girlfriend”

In September 2013, I accompany one of my friends from Kunming to Qujing, a city 2 hours from Kunming. In the evening, we meet up with some friends at a bar. One is a young couple with the woman being 2 months pregnant. They look like they are very much in love. I ask them how they met.

He: “I was in 9th grade and she was in 12th grade. The first time I saw her, I knew that she was special. I fell in love with her right away.”
She: “I was hesitant. After all, I was 3 years older than him – he was 15 and I was 18, and we were both still at school.”
He: “I chased after her for 2 years. Then we got together. We’ve been together for 6 years now. We’ll get married next month. After we’re married, I still want to see her as my girlfriend rather than my wife. Your whole attitude changes when you see someone as your wife and not as your girlfriend. Her attitude might change too. I still want to treat her special, like you’d treat a girlfriend.”

Do you agree that you’d treat a wife different from a girlfriend? Let us know in the comments’ section.

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7 thoughts on ““After we’re married, I still want to see her as my girlfriend”

  1. I think that after you get married, you can still treat your girlfriend like someone special … and something more. Your relationship should expand to include other aspects of your life together, especially after you have children. Don’t think of it as “either/or” but as a relationship that will grow larger, more complex, and more beautiful.


  2. Well, every time I tell one of my colleagues that my boyfriend does the dishes and cleans at home she always says that he won’t do it anymore after we marry. Like if men act nicely during the romance to “trick” the woman into marrying and once the knot is tied, as it can’t be undone (well it could but for most Chinese people that is not an option they want to consider as they would lose face) they can stop being nice.

    I don’t share this belief, btw.


  3. This is such a sweet post — how lovely he wants to treat her as special as when they were dating!

    @Nicki, very lovely sentiments!

    @Marta, that’s totally not true! My husband still cleans up around the house and does all sorts of thoughtful little chores.


  4. Pingback: Top 10 posts on China Elevator Stories, post 101-150 | China elevator stories

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