“Do you have brothers and sisters?”

Starting from today, I will publish on a more regular basis. Posts will be published three times weekly – on Tuesdays, Thursdays and on Saturdays. If you don’t want to miss a post, you can also subscribe to my blog via e-mail (see right navigation bar). I also plan to publish guest posts that are somehow connected to this blog’s topic. If you’d like to contribute, feel free to contact me at chinaelevatorstories{at}gmail.com. I do reserve the right to refuse publishing guest posts for any reason. Here’s today’s post:

Illustration by Ruth Silbermayr-Song

One evening after work in May 2013, my fiancé decides to get a haircut and I accompany him.

When we enter the hairdresser, an employee turns to my fiancé and unsure of which language to use she asks hesitantly:
“Do you speak Chinese?”
He: “I am Chinese.”
She: “Oh, sorry, I thought you might be Japanese.”

After the employees figure out that we both speak Chinese and we tell them what we want, he stays on the first floor to get a haircut and I follow an employee upstairs to get a massage. The hairdresser does not only offer haircuts but also massages and beauty treatments.

The girl giving me the massage starts chatting with me.
She: “How old are you, sis*?”
I: “25, and you?”
She: “I’m 17.”
I: “Wow, that’s really young.”

After talking for a while about this and that, she asks:
“Are you alone here or did your parents come to China with you?”
I: “I came here just on my own. My parents and my brothers and sisters are still back at home.”
She: “How many brothers and sisters do you have?”
I: “We’re 8 kids.”
She: “Wow, that’s a lot!”
I: “It is. Do you have brothers and sisters?”
She: “I have an older and a younger brother.”
I: “That’s a lot for China. Did your parents have to pay a fine**?”
She: “They didn’t. Where I come from, having 3 kids is actually pretty common. Also, we didn’t grow up at the same place. My brother lived with my mother the first 8 months and was then given to my grandmother. But my grandmother became ill, so after 2 years my aunt took care of him. When my mother got me, she took care of me for 2 years, and later my grandmother took care of me for 1 year. After that, I was given back to my mother to look after me.”

Do you have brothers and sisters or were you ever surprised when young people in China told you that they do?

*older sister (姐姐) is the word Chinese often use to refer to a person that judging from age could be their older sister

**because of the one-child policy people who get more than just one kid will usually have to pay a fine in addition to other restrictions being imposed on them and their kids

This is part 1 of the conversation with the girl working at the hairdresser. Stay tuned for part 2 (“How much do you earn?”), part 3 (“I have the heart of a boy”) and part 4 (“Is your hair dyed or is this your real color?”).

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