“You can’t like her too much”

This is part two of a conversation my fiancé and I had with a Chinese doctor. If you’ve missed part one, here’s the link: “I’d like to find my son a foreign wife”

When the doctor is done with feeling my pulse, looking at my tongue and asking me some questions about the symptoms, she says that this condition is induced by a weak spleen. She tells me what I should and shouldn’t eat:
“You shouldn’t eat any sweets and fruits, except for sugar apple and guava, both of which are recommended . Cold dishes and raw vegetables are not suitable for someone with a weak spleen. You shouldn’t drink cold water. Warm or hot water is better. You can eat rice and things like Mantou. Eggs are also okay. Boiled eggs, tea eggs and steamed eggs in particular are good for you. Taking vitamins is also a good idea.”
She then looks at my fiancé and tells him: “You can’t like her too much.”

I have never heard somebody use this expression before, but I know immediately that what she is actually saying is: “You shouldn’t have too much sex, it’s not good for a weak spleen.”

Have you ever had a doctor tell you something similar?

On a side note: I’m not a physician and this should not be considered medical advice. If you have a medical condition, please go see a doctor.

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14 thoughts on ““You can’t like her too much”

      • I’m referring to the claim that you shouldn’t have too much sex because it’s not good for a weak spleen.

        Whether it comes from peer-reviewed studies or other ways, I’d want ample evidence delineating the efficacy of the recommendation to partially refrain from sex before even beginning to contemplate such measures.

        Imagine the horror of giving up intimacy and then finding out there was absolutely no benefit to your health for having done so.


        • Sorry, I’m really not sure if there are any peer-reviewed studies or the like. Have you tried googling it? I do share anecdotes from my life in China on this blog and do not intend to give medical advice, so thanks for pointing this out! I’ve added a line stating that people should not follow this advice blindly.

          Oh, and actually I’m not sure what not having too much sex would be in this doctor’s eyes. I mean, how much is too much? Maybe what she was implying also showed her having preconceived notions about westerners being sex-crazy?!


  1. Sorry for asking, but how did she say this in chinese? I have never heard of this before, but looking at your text, I would assume she said love (Ai) rather than like


  2. Whenever I have anything wrong with me, I tend to hear the same advice from Chinese doctors: No cold drinks, no seafood, no spicy food. There’s other stuff too, but I seem to hear those three things pretty much every time. Sometimes I’m quite skeptical, but I’m skeptical of western medicine at times, too. Yes, studies can tell us some things. . . but not everything. There is a lot of flawed research out there. I guess in China I try to try to strike a balance what they tell me, what seems sensible, and what my body is telling me.


    • I totally agree. I once had quite a serious medical condition where western medicine just wouldn’t have been the way for me to go, since the only option would have been taking antibiotics for extended periods of time and this was not a condition where only bacteria was involved. So I guess everyone has to find what suits him or her for a certain condition. I also try to follow what seems to make sense or what my body is telling me. There’s never a 100% right or wrong, Chinese medicine isn’t flawless and Western medicine isn’t either.


  3. Pingback: “I’d like to find my son a foreign wife” | China elevator stories

  4. Pingback: Top 10 posts on China Elevator Stories | China elevator stories

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